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# 1 - Gift Registry.

Gone are the days of returning the third or fourth toaster, or the fifth crock pot. Today, guests can go online, find the couple’s registration, select, pay and ship in one sitting. There is no need to visit the store any longer. The gift can be wrapped [most stores] and delivered straight to the bride and groom’s home. Now isn’t that nice? Registering at two or three stores is very common for wedding couples today. Gift Registry has been used since the 1970s, but more so in the 1990s. Today’s 2005 Wedding Registry service provides total service for the guests and total satisfaction for the bride and groom. The bride and groom should register together—physically visit the store(s) even if the registry will be available online. This includes meeting with the sales person, describing your life style, opening the registry account, and taking the handheld device to laser tag the items you want. Other shops have you click on a program which displays all their products, while other shops have paper sheets where you select your items by pencil and your selections are scanned into the computer.

Don’t forget to discuss color themes—you will be surprised how much detail is required. In any event, you will have a list of items that you really want and need and this makes it easier for you. Selecting each item can be a time-consuming effort but at the same time a pleasurable experience— it’s almost like a free shopping adventure! Not all guests will purchase according to your registry. Thank them graciously for their gift as usual. Also, keep in mind that you may receive three place settings and you will want to complete it by purchasing the fourth set yourself.

It’s time to register. Select one or two stores that work for you and for your guests. For you: find a special store whose products you absolutely love; or select a very practical store (like a home improvement store if you just purchased a home). The second store should be a national store so that your guests can easily shop there and make their gift selection. If your wedding is one year away, then visit a gift registry about six months before the wedding. If your wedding is six months away, then register about four months before the wedding.

# 2 - Gifts from Your Guests

Receiving wedding gifts from your guests is a common gesture, but gifts should not be required or expected. The wedding invitation you deliver to your guests is merely to invite them to celebrate the special commitment you are making in their presence. The gift is merely a way that your guests wish to help you in your new life. Are you a couple who have lived together for more than one year? Then you most likely have the household items you need. If you prefer not to receive gifts from your guests, a tasteful way to communicate this is for you, or your maid-of-honor and/or mother, call your guests and, during small talk, gracefully mention that the Bride and Groom prefer not to receive gifts. You may have received an invitation that states “no gifts please”, but that is not a good choice only because it shows there was an expectation of gifts.

# 3 - Gift Registry Etiquette

Once you selected your store(s), call the store's gift registry manager to arrange a date and time to meet. If you don't make an appointment, you may have to wait until the manager is available, or the store’s gift registry representative is not working on that day.

Take time shopping for ideas on the store's web site and/or from magazines so you have some idea of the items you want. The Bride and Groom may have very different ideas on china and silverware – don’t forget about compromising.

Use the Wedding’s a Breeze gift registry checklist to start your inventory. Make this a special time when you can both focus on what you really want to receive. Check the registry often (more often as your wedding date nears) to check the status of your items. It’s possible that one guest purchased many items on the list leaving very little for your other guests (isn’t that great—you can add more items). Don’t fret if there are hardly any purchases and your wedding is ten days away. Most guests are likely to make the purchase right before the wedding (even on the day of). When selecting your gifts, select some items with small price tickets, and others with large price tickets so that you have a wide range of pricing to meet each guest’s budget. If you are on budget as well, careful not to go overboard with a lavishly priced place setting or stemware because you may have to purchase the set if you don’t receive a complete set from your guests.

# 4 - Tabletop Selections

Pick these pieces with care, as they will reflect you now and in the years ahead.

Flatware (or silverware). A standard set includes one each of knife, dinner fork, salad fork, teaspoon, and soup spoon. Add serving pieces (large forks and spoons) which may or may not match the flatware.

Types of flatware

Sterling silver: 92.5% silver, 7.5% base metal. Check for the pattern on both sides of the flatware (less expensive one has pattern on one side); okay in dishwasher, but not recommended when mixed with stainless steel. Requires polishing if not used often.

Stainless steel: durable metal. 15% chromium and 8% nickel is common.

Silver plate: budget version of sterling silver.

Dinnerware. A standard set includes one each of dinner plate, salad/bread plate, soup bowl, coffee cup and saucer. Today’s plates are offered with colorful artistry. You may want to add extras pieces that match your dinnerware such as rice bowl, cereal bowl and pasta bowl. You may decide to select one pattern for everyday dining, and another pattern for formal dining.

Stemware (or glassware). Different shapes are best for different uses.

Champagne: tall and narrow for the bubbles to rise

Red: large enough for the wine to breath

White: small to medium size to maintain the cool temperature

Crystal is fine glassware. Tends to be more expensive; you will find many beautiful etched patterns or cut patterns. The thin crystal is also very delicate.

Blown glass is how most glassware is made.

Colors are popular in the early 2000s.

Types of glasses for special drinks:

Margarita glass: bell-shaped, shallow but large

Martini glass: triangular shaped glass

Bar glass: tumblers for mixed drinks

These are suggestions for the tabletop. Don’t forget the hundreds of other items you can select such as linen, knife set, cookware (pots and pans), house wares, bathroom, garden and more.

# 5 - Gifts for Family and the Wedding Party

Moms love receiving a special gift that they can cherish forever--give her a small token that expresses your love and thanks. There is no gift that comes closer to this one: a handwritten note about how special mom has been, that you are so glad she can share this day with you, and …[we’ll let you finish this line].

Dad’s are cool. All they want is their daughter to be happy. A gift would be a surprise. There are great watches, tie clips, money clips, custom frames, fine pens, desk mementos, for starters. Always find something that really interests dad, such as golf, football, chess, music, favorite restaurant. Stay away from anything elaborate.

Grandparents are the best. They already have everything they need. A good hug would be just wonderful. If you really want to give a gift, then look for a vase that would compliment the house, a recent photo of you and your spouse, a good book that you heard about, or better yet that you read and loved. Shop around until you spot that perfect gift.

Maid of Honor. Girls are easy. Jewelry, something feminine for her desk or house, scarf, tote, or a gift certificate for an hour massage or day at the spa. Also, a special thank you note for Maid of Honor (or Matron of Honor) everything she has done to help you through the event.

Bridesmaids. You can follow the same scheme as for the Maid of Honor, or offer them something different from the Maid of Honor. If you have time, give them each a unique gift that matches their personality. Gift are easy—earrings, purse, compact mirror, necklace, journal, dinner for two at a favorite restaurant, and more.

Best Man. This one’s not so hard to think of … a new sports watch, tickets to a game, iPod set, CDs, dinner for two, a bottle of scotch, beer glasses, and the standard tie clip, fine writing pen, money clip, desk clock, and more. Ideally, the gift shows your appreciation and you really want it to be a reminder of your special day.

Ushers. Ditto for the Ushers as for the Best Man. This gifts can be all the same or individual as you see fit.

Flower girl and Ring Bearer. Don't forget to find a special gift for these players. You may ask their parent for suggestions if you can't find something special. Consider taking them to an entertainment park for the day (sometime after you return from your Honeymoon).

Other Helpers. What a nice gesture to give a small gift to others who helped you during the planning stages. You will find that many family members and friends will volunteer to help you assemble the invitations, make table centerpieces, help decorate and contribute in other ways. Show them your appreciation. If extra gifts aren’t in your planning budget, a special note of appreciation will beat any tangible gift.

# 6 - Other Gift Registry Ideas

One of the best concepts for gift registry is to have your guests’ help you pay for your honeymoon. This is great for couples who have been living together for some time and already have a comfortable household. The honeymoon gift registry allows your guests to submit $x towards your honeymoon such as the flight, bed and breakfast stay, massages—anything related to a great honeymoon. What a perfect solution for 2005 couples.

Another trend for couples who already have a household and are financially secure have asked their guests to contribute to a charity on the couple's behalf. The message to guests should be communicated through telephone calls and is, of course, on a volunteer basis for the guests. The couple should already have contacted the organization to gather the particulars and be prepared to give the name of the organization, telephone number, street address, email address and instructions to their guests.

# 7 - Bride and Groom Gift Exchange

This is a nice gesture for the engaged couple. Perhaps a sweet note about each other is all you would like to give. Or maybe there is something that is very special you want to give to show your love. The decision to exchange gifts will be very personal between the two of you. It should not be a gift that can be found on the gift registry.

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